Today there is no use for the word HOPEIt is best just to KNOW

do you remember
meeting me
no, not by the train
no, not in the museum
but for the first time?

when we
both wore white
and you
wrapped your locks
in a white headwrap
with burgundy colors
i remember your shoes
so fly
they were burgundy too

i remember when you smiled
and you wooed me with your teeth
straight and white
and the deepest dimples
you smelled heavenly
like patchouli
sandlewood
egyptian musk

do you remember?
me in white
in a dress that was tight
and flowing
hugging my curves
and showing off my arms and legs
you stared all night
at my arms and legs

i remember being pissed
the event we attended
was late getting started
my boyfriend was acting up
and i wanted to see him
personally
but i didn't expect you
sexy
intelligent
poetic

you sat a table over and
extended a gift
something that reminded you of me
damn you
smelled good
looked good
and said all the right things
in your deep voice
perfect jamaican accent

you made me laugh
danced with me
and awakened in me
spirituality
sensuality
beauty

you said to me
in symbols
and words
that i was beautiful
and delicate
like a lotus flower
that blooms each day
saluting the sun

you don't remember, do you?
giving me that picture of a perfect
pink lotus flower?
after all of these years
it's still framed
and it sits on my nightstand

The baddest deity just woke up in my bed
With her wide hips
Full breasts
Beautifully pear shaped
She twists, turns and stretches
Part feline
All feminine
She’s got confidence
Embodied in her smile
In her strut
In the batting of her eyes
She’s freely sensual
Yet contained
Awaiting expulsion
Anticipating her baddest king

I find heaven in the fashion your thoughts are created
In your mind you must muddle and organize them over and over
Until you unearth the chosen words to convey
Philosophies, theories, opinions, feelings
And these words take flight and approach your tongue
Lift and leave through parted lips
And find their way to my ears a short distance
I hear
The inflection of your voice
The potency of your emotions
The intention of your expression
As your words drape
Sensuously
Eloquently
Bountifully
On the drums of my ears
Leaking through capillaries, arteries, veins and valves
And become
Fixtures of my heart

Like a dollar found on my way to work
Or finding the perfect pair of shoes to go with my sexy shirt
At the perfect price
Like calling all of my friends
And nothing at all is going wrong
And all of their kids are acting right
Like a positive bank balance
And all my bills are paid
And having a little money in my savings
Like coming into work
And the boss decided not to come in
And we all decide to cut out early
Like going into my favorite restaurant
And there's no wait
And I'm the only customer
Like the perfect glass of red wine
After the perfect day
While I'm watching Gray's Anatomy
Like a perfect manicure
And a fly french pedicure
A fresh facial to boot
Like a bright sunny sky
And a brisk walk in Central Park
Sipping caramel macchiatos
Like coming home to a clean house
A made bed
And comfort food
That’s how you are to me
Too good
To be
True

I hate you

Those were the words that effortlessly flowed from my lips
Your response was
I know
I can only imagine that you said it with a smile
No, perhaps a smirk
It's a game we play
We've been playing it for the past 7 years

I hate you
I said it to your chest

As you held me close
As you laid your head on top of mine
Smelling my hair
Telling me it smells nice
You came to see me
The 1st time I've seen you in 8 months

I hate you
It's my way of not saying
What I really feel
What I'm afraid to feel
What I cannot reveal
My sentiments you already grasp
I've said those 3 words in succession
Countless times

I hate you
This time there is no kissing
No bending over
No making it clap
No nakedness
No warm baby oil
No massages
No tears

I hate you
Yet this time
I don't want to hold you captive
Or cuss you out
Nor slap your face
I only want to hold you
Be held by you
And breathe your scent

He told me sweet lies of sweet love

Heavy with the burden of the truth

And he spoke of his dreams

Broken by the burden

Broken by the burden of his youth

Fourteen years he said

I couldn't look into the sun

She saw him laying at the end of my gun

Hungry for life

And thirsty for the distant river

I remember his hands

And the way the mountains looked

The light shot diamonds from his eyes

Hungry for life

And thirsty for the distant river

Like the scar of age

Written all over my face

The war is still raging inside of me

I still feel the chill

As I reveal my shame to you

I wear it like a tattoo

I wear it like a tattoo

I wear it like a tattoo

--Helen Folasade Adu (Sade)

You keep your distance from me
Say that you think I'm crazy
Say that my views don't make sense to you
And I plead with you to tell me the truth

The truth is you keep your distance from me
Because it's hard to pretend around me
Because I make you face yourself
Because with me you are the real you
The carnal you
You keep your distance from me
Because you see your spiritual self
Your sensual self
Your freaky self
The strange side of yourself

You keep your distance from me
Not because I'm not pretty
Or thick in the wrong places
Or because I'm not intelligent
Or educated
Or because I'm lacking in my pocketbook

You keep your distance from me
Because around me your heart races
Your breath quickens
Your sense of smell returns
You can't help but touch my flesh

You keep your distance from me
Because I make you want to kiss my lips
Taste my tongue
Moan my name
Forget your name
Forget your wife

I keep you...

to keep you i must be able...

able to meet your needs and gratify your desires
able to feed you and satiate your appetites
able to keep you intrigued
able to make you feel like the king you are

I keep you...

to keep you i must understand...

i understand your nature, your drive, your needs
i understand your hurts, your failures, your success
i understand your pursuit of freedom and security
i understand your command to be the man & in control

I keep you...

to keep you i must be willing

willing to sow a seed of love with you
willing to become a better me for you
willing to show you my consistencies
willing to show you my faithfulness to you

I keep you...

to keep you i must be open

i open my heart & my emotions for you
i open my sensuality like a lotus flower just for you
i open my curiosity to your fantasies
i open my life and welcome you inside of me

Come as you are

Lay with me

Beautiful lies once more tell me

With all the love in my heart

I'll set you free

Now that your eyes have said good-bye...

***~~***~~***

I found joy so pure

My heart secure

With the love the two of us would share

And though it all seems so unfair

No one's to blame when love's not there

My whole life has changed

Feels like I'll surely go insane

'Cause my world revolved 'rounda love that never was

Before I say good-bye to love

Just hold me until the morning comes

*By clicking on the first line, you can listen to the song...

Tell me this is just another fantasy. Is this just another hunger to be fed? Tell me this is enough to satiate your desires. Perhaps this is simply another notch in your belt?

I've known you way too long. Before she even came around. And the loving is way too good, I don't want to share it. Is she prettier than me? Are her ass and hips bigger than mine? I've got to know....

Of course, I'm a freak. You know I give it to you freely. Anyway you want. Just text me. One word - "Now". Any time. Just give me eye contact. I'll meet you anywhere you like. You want a nooner? Take it from me while I'm sleeping? You know I oblige.

Now you want this situation, now we're in this situation. I've agreed and can't get out but I feel like backing out. I just want you to be happy, have your needs met. Said I've give it to you as a present but right now I'm feeling jealous. You might like it and want more. Maybe next time you'll leave me out... of this threesome.

It all started with a kiss. I should have known better. Kissing is something that I love to do and when you love to do something, you tend to give it your all. I give my all.
It's been years since we've talked. Years since we beheld each other's presence. Years since we were close enough to inhale each other. Years since we held conversations that blocked out the world.
So good to see you. Our conversation flowed so easily. Wasn't long before our talk flowed into a familiar cadence followed by laughter and lingering smiles.
I could lie and say that it wasn't on my mind but just by staring at the movement of your lips, I was enticed, and tempted and all I wanted, all I felt I needed, was a kiss from you. I asked.
I saw your hesitation. You closed your eyes. And I felt your struggle. You opened your eyes
And I saw that you surrendered. You tilted your head down, grabbed my lower back and pressed your lips against mine.
I don't know when I felt like that before. Dizzy. Drunk. Anxious. My heart was beating fast. My breath was short. I trembled beneath your fingers.
I slid my hands underneath the sleeves of your shirt to feel your arms, run my fingers over your muscles, glide my index finger over your tattoo, brought you closer to me.
Your hands moved up and down my spine, rested a little on the curve of my back, sliding down to palm me, you always knew that I liked it when you palmed me.
It's funny how days, months and moments pass. Time lapsed. Yet we never missed a beat during our tongue brawl. It was electric. So much so that I didn't want to let go, you wouldn't let go.
But we had to stop. You had to go home and I had to go home too. And I had to deal with the wrong I had done by tempting you and giving in to my lust.
I learned a lesson in that moment. That I'm not as strong and I pretend to be. My emotions failed me and a tear broke free and revealed to you my vulernability.

my heart was still... i was confused... you pursued me...
my breath was caught in my chest... hurting my body... you pursued me...
what were your intentions... weren't you connected to another... you pursued me...
i fought your attempts... avoided you... yet... you pursued me...
i brushed you away... outwardly... at least i thought i did... you pursued me...
the attraction between us... strong... but i was so puzzled... you pursued me...
with your hands holding mine.... with your eyes staring into mine... you pursued me...
you scared me...
you kissed me...
you held me...
you pursued me...
until i surrendered