It all started with a kiss. I should have known better. Kissing is something that I love to do and when you love to do something, you tend to give it your all. I give my all.
It's been years since we've talked. Years since we beheld each other's presence. Years since we were close enough to inhale each other. Years since we held conversations that blocked out the world.
So good to see you. Our conversation flowed so easily. Wasn't long before our talk flowed into a familiar cadence followed by laughter and lingering smiles.
I could lie and say that it wasn't on my mind but just by staring at the movement of your lips, I was enticed, and tempted and all I wanted, all I felt I needed, was a kiss from you. I asked.
I saw your hesitation. You closed your eyes. And I felt your struggle. You opened your eyes
And I saw that you surrendered. You tilted your head down, grabbed my lower back and pressed your lips against mine.
I don't know when I felt like that before. Dizzy. Drunk. Anxious. My heart was beating fast. My breath was short. I trembled beneath your fingers.
I slid my hands underneath the sleeves of your shirt to feel your arms, run my fingers over your muscles, glide my index finger over your tattoo, brought you closer to me.
Your hands moved up and down my spine, rested a little on the curve of my back, sliding down to palm me, you always knew that I liked it when you palmed me.
It's funny how days, months and moments pass. Time lapsed. Yet we never missed a beat during our tongue brawl. It was electric. So much so that I didn't want to let go, you wouldn't let go.
But we had to stop. You had to go home and I had to go home too. And I had to deal with the wrong I had done by tempting you and giving in to my lust.
I learned a lesson in that moment. That I'm not as strong and I pretend to be. My emotions failed me and a tear broke free and revealed to you my vulernability.

my heart was still... i was confused... you pursued me...
my breath was caught in my chest... hurting my body... you pursued me...
what were your intentions... weren't you connected to another... you pursued me...
i fought your attempts... avoided you... yet... you pursued me...
i brushed you away... outwardly... at least i thought i did... you pursued me...
the attraction between us... strong... but i was so puzzled... you pursued me...
with your hands holding mine.... with your eyes staring into mine... you pursued me...
you scared me...
you kissed me...
you held me...
you pursued me...
until i surrendered

What did you do the day after the night we met?
Was I under you skin like blood under your veins?
Did I dart across your mind constantly?
Like the relentless way you moved across mine
I wonder....

What did you do the day after the night of our first kiss?
Did you listen to your favorite song, favorite CD, did you sing along?
Did you take a hot shower in an attempt to erase my scent off of your skin?
Only to realize that that traces of me are embedded within
Like you're embedded in me
I wonder...

What did you do the day after the night of our first fight?
Did you stand strong to your argument?
I'm sure you thought I was wrong and you were right
Did you shed a tear of frustration at my ignorance?
Did you realize your faults?
Did you try to call me to say that you're sorry only to find my number busy because I was calling you?
I wonder...

What do you do the day after the night we first made love?
Did you miss me in your bed?
Did you clutch your pillow tight?
Did you find sleep easily or did you reach for a soothing balm?
Did you anticipate our next encounter?
Because I did...
I wonder...

you disturb my peacefulness
touch me in my most private places
speak to me and i'm captivated
look at me and i'm enthralled
i melt into your embrace
i crumble when i look into your eyes
i find myself watching your lips
imagining myself sharing your breath
envision us entangled in lust
i must quiet my raging thoughts
before i am completely consumed
no use to no one, not even myself
you have this control over me

i am so desperate, so pathetic

i have no more walls, no more protection

so easily you’ve broken all of my defenses

and now I crave you

every part of me

i've always known
i could love enough
for both me and you
if i had to
but our love
spiritual
ignited divinely
so powerful
no need for words
flows fluidly between
i don't know when it happened
some day i came to realize
that i was loving you
generously
and your reciprocity
missing
and i cried to you
begged for you
and smugly you shrugged me
i had come to rely upon
the ego stroke
bedroom performances
but were increasingly drifting
i wanted you to
validate me
restore my status
i am the best piece
between your sheets
words i desired
never came
and our rift
became the biggest cavity
gaping hideously
my love unable to fill
my pride shattered
my heart punctured
my spirit torn
my mind twisted
you were out of my life
eyes blinded to the fact that
i was loving you
all along
more than i was loving me