my softness gone
i searched everywhere
i messed up, tore up, disorganized
everything
and organized again
but i can't find it
don't know where i left it
can't remember the last time i felt it

my softness
it done left me
got tired of fighting
for priority
got tired of quarreling
with my strength
my tough exterior
i used to be able to
reach in and grab it

my softness
i miss her
quiet strength
humility and grace
she's been gone
for so long
left without remnant

and my hardness
my hardness reigns supreme
handles both edges
of my sword-like tongue
creeps into
the creases of my eyes
rides my mighty attitude
like waves

yet...

i pray it's not too late
for my softness
to return to me
restoring my sweet
my kind
my genuine
my heart
to me...